These kids are why MUTU exists 💖.
My daughter’s birth in 2005 involved a 28 hour labour, a ventouse assisted delivery, massive postpartum haemorrhage, episiotomy and a pelvic floor shot to hell. Multiple interventions that saved my life, but also that left me feeling broken, ashamed, bitter and utterly disconnected.
Less than 2 years later my boy was born, more easily, faster… he literally crawled up my body to feed. 😍 But then the haemorrhage came again and this time it was brutal. Paramedics, a helicopter transfer and my husband left holding our newborn, praying I wouldn’t die.
I believed my body had failed me, let me down, and I was bitter and sad. I was a personal trainer FFS. Supposed to know about this stuff. A certified specialist in Pre and postnatal fitness. And I couldn’t even give birth right.
Early MUTU Ideas
Having my kids led me to 5 years of further study – going much deeper, into alignment and physical therapy collaborations, as well as wider than ‘fitness’ – before making the first MUTU programme in 2010. It started with a video camera strapped to a tree, me on my mat, and some highly questionable editing and HTML skills.
None of this makes my births any more miraculous, worthy or traumatic than anyone else’s. We did good, however, our babies enter the world, we did good!
We’re fucking survivors. Goddesses. ♀ But maybe you too have struggled, or are struggling, to see the beauty, strength and power. Whether it was recent or many years ago, and however it plays out, our births stay with us, part of us, part of our bodies as well as our identity.
Because it’s hard.
And we don’t feel like Goddesses. We may feel battered and broken, disconnected. We love our babies fiercely but even that isn’t always straightforward.
Thanks Kids, For Teaching Me What I Needed To Know
The tools I had at that time weren’t enough and that’s why I made this. I know so much more now. Could I have changed any of what happened? Most likely, not. What was going to happen, happened, and we all survived, among the lucky ones. The events might be the same, but now I do know that recovery, strengthening and my self-confidence could have been very different.
I know you may not believe it right now because I didn’t. But you are strong, powerful, beautiful and wildly, brilliantly, Woman. Keep telling yourself until you believe it. Fake it till you make it. 🙌
I did and still do the technical work, learning, studying, improving practice, teaching and collaborating. Passionately and tirelessly empowering women with the knowledge and tools that help them embrace transformation where we need to embrace it, but vitally, to know what we *don’t* need to embrace. What we can change, how we can recover, strengthen and thrive, and exactly how to do it.
Thanks kids. 🙏